Feeling used and dumped? It happens all the time!


No matter how liberated society is about sex and how you go about making the most of the opportunities you have, at the end of the day, you have to face the decision you make and account for your recklessness. The bandwagon effect seldom bodes well for everybody as Ruki recently found out.

According to her: “I’ve been on my own since splitting with my boyfriend last year. He was the one who left and I was so gutted I didn’t want male company for a while. But all that changed when I started work at a telecoms company at the beginning of the year. It was a dream job and the line manager was a dreamboat. We often shared the same table at the staff canteen and I became strongly attracted to him. I could sense a lot of sexual tension between us. The problem was that relationships between staff members are forbidden and flirting was risky.

However, at the last office party, I got talking to him. I knew he had a girlfriend but I didn’t care, I still made a play for him. It started off as harmless flirting but things got serious. He told me he and his girlfriend liked to experiment, so I lied that I did too. I didn’t want him to think I was a prude. He then asked if I fancied a threesome with him and his girl.

“I was a bit taken aback, but then I thought, why not? Men have often told me I’m good in bed and I saw this as an opportunity to price him away from his girlfriend. A few weeks later, I received a text from him saying, ‘If you’re still up for it, how about tonight?’ I replied that I was game but was really nervous when I turned up at his flat. I relaxed when I noticed his girlfriend wasn’t as pretty or as slim as me. She was friendly and chatty though, and after a lot of wine, I started by stroking my face and taking my clothes off – it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. Slowly, she too got undressed.

“Quickly, he started stripping off and when I saw his toned muscular body, it really turned me on, and I forgot my nerves. We ended up having the most amazing wild night of sex. It was pure pleasure from start to finish, and from the way he was all over me, I felt sure it was more than just a sex thing for him. You can then imagine how stunned I was the next time I saw him at work and he just nodded at me and didn’t say a word!

“He’s been avoiding me ever since. I feel so hurt that I might just make a complaint about him to the MD. See how smug he’ll feel when he loses his job”.

I was really amused by Ruki’s antics and I told her so. She was an adult who willingly took part in a threesome with her immediate boss. If she made any complaint, I told her, her boss might either deny or both of them could get fired if the firm is that strict about staff relationships. Not only that, the whole office- might even get to know the hot sexual exploits of the two of them. Ruki is only angry because she failed in her attempt to steal the man away from his girlfriend.

Sadly, trying to hook someone you hardly know using sex as a bait is bound to fail.

Chris said, he found this out when it was almost too late. He was still single a few years ago when he ran into Toks who was almost ten years his senior. “We met at a seminar,” he recalled, and she was very friendly. The very first day, she invited me to her room. When she opened the door to let me in, it was obvious she was waiting for me. I sat on the big bed and we made some silly comments about the seminar. I knew what she wanted – the atmosphere was so charged that I quickly grabbed a drink from the minibar, As I sipped my drink, she disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared in her bathrobe. She told me cheekily she didn’t have anything fancy enough to let me undress and that her naked body in a see – through robe was the best turn-on she could offer.

“I was already stripped to my boxers anyway, so 1 pulled her onto the bed. As we kissed,1 removed the robe and grabbed her boobs – she was all over me as we made love with a lot of passion. She was really amazing as she clambered on top and straddled me. We made love two more times before I sneaked back to my room. The rest of the seminar was a blur as we made love as often as we could. As we left for our various stations, we exchanged phone numbers. She told me she was married but separated from her husband. That she was glad she found me to fill the emptiness.

“I was on cloud nine as 1 visited her in her office. She didn’t encourage me to come to her house yet because of the kids. Technically, she was still married to her husband and until the divorce, it wouldn’t be right to bring me home. At least that was the reason she gave. I invited her to my place instead and she cooked for me, made wild love to me and even spent the odd night. I was in love with her and would have gladly married her in spite of the age difference. Unfortunately, I was brought crashing down from my euphoric state a few months after we met when she told me her husband had been making moves to rekindle their dead marriage.

She didn’t tell me of this reconciliation move before because he was sure she never wanted anything to do with him. But pressure was put on her by his relatives and hers to give the marriage a second chance because of the kids. The kids too were all for it and the idea didn’t seem so bad after she’d given it a thought.

“I was shocked. What about me? What about us? She was really patient as she explained she would always cherish what we had. That thanks to me, she didn’t go mad when she thought she didn’t have a marriage. But she’d been married to her husband for 15 years and wanted to make things work for her three children, so as to give them a more grounded life.

“I missed her so much it hurts. Later, I learnt from a friend she was never separated from her husband, that he was banged up in a foreign jail for credit card fraud and had just been released. In other words, I came in handy for those lonely nights he wasn’t around to make love to her! That didn’t make my pain any less bearable.

Despite my grief, I still stay awake nights thinking of her and the urges that still burn. I feel I’m dying with frustration and its going to take a long time to get over the fact that I fell for a woman who wanted me only for the sex”.

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